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“What’s bothering you, Marlene?”
As I watched her playing around with her curry, I understood that my friend and coaching colleague wasn’t up to eating, even though we were having lunch at her favorite Indian restaurant.
“I think I have to turn down a client and I really feel guilty,” she answered as she continued to shift her curry from side to side. She hadn’t even touched her wine, either.
“So if you’re feeling so guilty, why not consider taking them on?” I probed.
“You know the story, Etika. We’ll have two or three sessions and then I’ll begin wishing I hadn’t accepted them, even at generous executive coaching rates” she answered.
“Then it actually looks like you’re smart for turning them down. So why is it bothering you so much?” I asked.
“Well, without getting into too much detail, this time it’s the CEO of a very high profile hi-tech company, with promising executive coaching rates.”
“Impressive!” I commented.
“Yes, but if I tell you about our first meeting, you’ll understand where I’m coming from,” Marlene said.
“I’m all ears.”
“Well,” Marlene began. “It started off with the way she spoke to me on the phone. Something in her very cold tone told me that I shouldn’t move things forward. But I did,” Marlene lamented. “I guess it was because she’s so high profile.”
“Fair enough. Been there. Done that,” I admitted.
“So, we set up a meeting at her office the next day. Without even a minute of small talk, she sat me down in front of her desk and complained to me that her team doesn’t get along with her,” Marlene recounted.
“Well, from the sound of how she spoke to you, I’m not that surprised,” I interjected.
“Indeed. But then she told me that the reason she wants to hire me is to force the team to cooperate with her!”
“Force? That’s a pretty strange way of doing things,” I said surprisingly.
“Wait, Etika, here’s the best part,” Marlene continued. “In the same breath, she asserted that she doesn’t see herself as part of the problem and that she won’t be involved in the coaching process.”
“Pretty low in the self-awareness department, I’d say,” I answered.
“And,” Marlene added. “At the end of the process, she wants a report of which employees I was able to change and who needs to be fired.”
“Is this person for real?” I asked flabbergasted.
“One hundred percent,” Marlene answered. “And she even tried to sweeten the deal by saying that if I succeed, I’ll have a lot more work at her company.”
“So you were tempted?” I asked.
“I don’t know if I was tempted or confused,” Marlene admitted. “I think that I wasn’t really sure how to respond, so I began asking her a few questions about her relationship with her team, what she expects, etc. All of it quickly confirmed my suspicion that she was just looking for someone to create an army of robots.”
“Sounds like an accurate diagnosis,” I commented.
“And so I pretty much instantly realized that this wasn’t the kind of coaching work I could or wanted to do,” Marlene concluded.
“I wholeheartedly concur,” I responded. “So why are you upset?”
“Well, the minute I realized this, I became overridden with guilt - professional, business, and even personal guilt,” Marlene said. “So I didn’t tell her ‘no’. In fact, our meeting ended with the CEO instructing her personal assistant to set up a series of meetings between the team members and me. But as I said, I don’t feel that I can go through with it. Yet the guilt is still there.”
“I get it, and I understand where you’re coming from, because, as I said, I’ve been there,” I answered. “So let me tell you a little bit about how I deal with occasional guilt.”
“Yes, Etika, please do,” Marlene urged.
“First off,” I began. “Whenever any guilty feelings begin to appear, I try to nip them in the bud.”
“Makes sense. But how?” Marlene asked.
“By always developing and maintaining my self-awareness, both as a professional and as a person,” I explained. “The better we know ourselves - what’s right for us, what’s not right for us, who we can help, and who we can’t, the better our lives will be.”
“I’m not sure I’m following you,” Marlene admitted.
“You see, Marlene, the sharper our awareness is, the easier it is to make the right choices, whether they are professional or personal. And when we’re sure our choices are the right ones, we don’t feel guilty about them,” I explained.
“So are you saying that you can just turn down a client and not think twice about it?” Marlene asked.
“You bet. In fact, I’ll even feel good about it,” I answered.
“Because you’ve made it very clear to yourself by staying in tune with your self-awareness,” Marlene interjected.
“Exactly,” I said.
“So I’ve got some serious work to do with my self-awareness,” Marlene concluded. “Etika, would you mind meeting with me a couple of times to mentor me on raising my self-awareness?”
“You don’t even need to ask,” I answered. “I was just going to suggest we meet next week for lunch. But this time, I want to see you enjoy your food!”
“You know, I’m already feeling better,” Marlene said. “And I have a suspicion that as soon as I call a certain CEO, my appetite will return.”
I raised my glass of wine and proposed a toast, “to not feeling guilty”.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
As if corporate life is not tough enough, the recent economic uncertainty has added even more stress and tension to the lives of our clients. Now, more than ever, our clients need us. Yet organizations are now watching every penny, and coaching is often one of the first expenses to be deleted from the budget. So as coaches, committed to our clients’ success, especially in the eye of the economic storm, should we provide our services for free?
If you’ve been in the coaching business for more than ten years, you’ll probably remember the dramatic downturn following the 2008 financial crisis. And there have been other similar situations, such as the 2000 dot com bust as well. My point is that if you haven’t already, you’ll be experiencing your share of sharp dips, like the current one, throughout your coaching career.
What’s common to times of trouble is that, as coaches, we painfully experience the gap between the declarations of CEOs that “human capital is key to success” and the actual resources management will invest to protect their people in times of strife.
For many years, I was frustrated by this gap, especially in light of “hints” I received from big corporates to “pitch in” and provide my services pro bono. In fact, recently, colleagues and supervisees have gotten in touch to ask for advice on this very issue. On one hand, their clients are in great need of coaching, and yet on the other hand, they face difficulty in affording coaching sessions. Then our conversations usually spiral into two key questions: “Why do my clients feel comfortable asking me to work for free when they would never even dream of engaging another professional without paying them? Why is coaching seen as different?”
My answer to the first question is related to the second one. Coaching is different. And you are perceived by your client as the only person who can help them weather the storm. People need coaching all of the time and under all circumstances, whether the market is up or down....but especially when it’s down.
Once I internalized this myself towards the beginning of my career, I simply disconnected the “logical” equation of need equals payment. When organizations tighten their belts and freeze coaching services, this doesn’t mean that our services aren’t needed. In fact, they are badly needed.
With the uncertainty brought on by the current economy, my clients are getting in touch in droves. And yes, I feel it’s my duty as their coach to be there for them. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not ignoring the fact that I am providing them with my professional services without full (or any) payment. However, what I do know is that I am needed.
But I don’t have all of the answers. For example, I don’t know how many people I can help, and I don’t know how long I’ll be able to help them for. But for the time being, I’m framing the work I’m doing as “volunteering,” which I have always integrated into my life anyway.
I know that with our chaotic lives and great uncertainty, volunteering might not be a viable solution. There have been periods in my career when I’ve been more limited than I am today. What I’d like for you to understand, as a fellow coach, is that you are key to your clients’ success - no matter what the budget people might tell you.
Have you been approached by clients to provide pro bono or reduced rate work? How do you feel about it? Are there any creative ways we can help our clients during the current turndown?
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
For those who haven’t had a chance to read my first post about Jennifer, I’ll recap: Jennifer, a star executive coach whom I supervised came to me one day very upset. She’d just found out that a company she ran leadership seminars for had “replaced” her with an online program, one of the new career advancement solutions.
Jennifer and I discussed this over a cup of coffee, in which I told her my point-of-view: Online coaching courses are a very big opportunity for coaches, as they’ll let us provide a larger number of career advancement solutions to a wider audience. This piqued Jennifer’s curiosity and we decided to meet again.
Yesterday afternoon, Jennifer walked into the coffee shop around the corner from my office with a smile on her face, a much different expression than the one she’d worn the last time we met. After a little bit of catching up and ordering our usual lattes, Jennifer began:
“Etika, I have to admit that I left our last meeting a little confused. I had come in so angry and hurt by my client but left with a glimmer of hope. It took me the whole weekend to really sort out how I feel, but I want you to know that I’m all ears regarding how you see online coaching tools as a vehicle to grow my practice.”
I smiled, as I was really pleased that Jennifer had taken on my advice, especially since I knew the potential that online tools could add to her already successful business.
“That’s what I like to hear,” I told Jennifer. “I’ve done a lot of research regarding online coaching tools and I want to share my main findings.”
Taking out a pen and notepad, Jennifer answered, “Ready when you are.”
“Great,” I answered.
“Here’s the headline: Online courses are not only going to increase in number but also develop in directions we’re not even aware of.”
“Got it,” Jennifer answered. “That sounds reasonable...like so many other technological developments.”
“It does,” I said, “But I want you to know how many coaches I’ve met who spend...no...waste valuable time discrediting online courses. What they don’t realize is that what they’re really doing is expressing fear.”
Jennifer nodded her head in agreement, but asserted, “Well, they are justified in being afraid. Look what happened to me!”
“Fair enough,” I said. “But categorically rejecting every online solution only because it’s online is ridiculous. Like everything, there are many different levels of quality.”
“I see what you’re, saying, Etika,” Jennifer said. “And it doesn’t put the coach in a very good light either, I suppose.”
“Precisely,” I said. “So rather than viewing online courses as the enemy and spending time putting them down, better to see how we can begin to accept them as real players in our industry.”
“OK,” Jennifer followed.
I continued, “Once we accept them as players, we can stop being afraid and start seeing the kinds of opportunities they’ll present to us.”
“Like what?” Jennifer asked.
“Well, the biggest one I’ve identified so far, Jennifer, is how online tools can help us, as coaches, provide the best solution possible for our clients.”
“Yes, I remember your saying something about this the last time we met,” recalled Jennifer.
“Good memory! Now, try to think about how many times your clients have cancelled or put off meetings because they said they didn’t have enough time.”
“Ugh. More than I’d like to think about. It always gets me so upset when I have to rejuggle my calendar,” Jennifer lamented.
“Tell me about it,” I said. “It always begins with a big apology and then spins into three or four text messages until we finally figure out when to meet...not to mention the loss in income.”
“You said it,” agreed Jennifer.
I continued, “But think about these busy managers, always under pressure. You know as well as I do that they really don’t control their own schedules.”
Jennifer reflected, “Yes, it’s not really their fault, is it.”
“That’s right. They sincerely want our help. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have taken the trouble to engage us in the first place,” I said. “Yet, circumstances seem to prevent them from keeping their appointments.”
“And what really happens,” Jennifer interrupted, “is that we stop caring as well. I mean, there’s a limit to how much we can chase our clients.”
“Exactly my point, Jennifer,” I responded. “That’s why I think that online tools offer us such a significant opportunity. Rather than chasing our clients, as you so rightly put it, we can actually provide them with solutions that suit their hectic schedules.”
“I agree, Etika, but from our point of view, aren’t we just handing over our business to online course providers?” Jennifer wondered.
“Not at all, Jennifer,” I responded. “Our job actually becomes more critical, as we will be the ones identifying the best online solutions for the managers. Don’t forget, if managers are too busy to come to meetings, they certainly won’t have the time to search for and try out online courses. That’s where we come in, equipped with our professional perspective.”
“So our role as executive coach actually expands,” Jennifer said.
“Yes, it does. In fact, not only will we be advising clients regarding online tools but also will be seen as much more professional, as we’ll be offering a much wider variety of solutions that we could in the past,” I answered.
Jennifer seemed to understand my point. “And as you always say, Etika, our business is to help as many people as possible to improve their lives.”
“Right on, Jennifer,” I responded. “And that’s why I think that partnering with online tools will provide us with a bright future.”
I looked at my watch, “Jennifer, I’m really sorry, but I’m due back at my office in 15 minutes. How about we meet again next week to take this further?”
“It’s a date,” Jennifer said, smiling as we got up to leave.
Join Etika and Jennifer next time as Etika reveals an important development she’s been working on.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
“We’ve got to talk. My career is going down the drain.”
This is how a call began from Jennifer, one of my most successful coaching supervisees. Jennifer is at the top of her field in leadership development with clients from all over the region.
“Of course, Jennifer. Anything you want, you know that,” I responded. “But can you tell me what you mean?”
She explained, “One of my most loyal clients has just cancelled two leadership development seminars for next quarter. Instead, they’re going to have the managers do an online course. My career is doomed and so are my executive coaching rates, Etika. Do you have time to meet me this afternoon?”
Naturally, I obliged and arranged to meet with Jennifer at a coffee shop around the corner from my office.
After a long hug, we sat down and ordered our coffee.
“Etika, what kind of future can I expect if I’m going to be replaced by online courses?” Jennifer asked. “I mean, it’s not enough that there’s so much competition among us coaches, especially with executive coaching rates. Now, we’ve all got online courses to contend with.”
“I hear you, Jennifer, but let’s not forget one of the lessons we learned back in Marketing 101: competition is good. Of course, back in school, we wouldn’t have imagined that a computer would be our competition, but that’s the way things have turned out.”
Jennifer looked at me and said, “Just remind me why competition is good again, Etika.”
“Because it raises awareness of a need. Until recently, career coaching was just for the highly-paid executives who had physical access to a coach. Now, with a variety of technology and platforms, coaching is enjoyed by clients at many more levels of the hierarchy all over the world. Just think how much this has made our profession a real possibility for more people,” I answered.
Jennifer thought for a minute and responded, “But how is this going to help me? Etika, I’ve just had two cancellations. How many others are lurking around the corner?”
“First, Jennifer, if I can suggest, try to stop being afraid of online courses. Just like we tell our clients, change is inevitable. As far as I can see, online courses are going to increase and become an important player in the coaching landscape. It’s time to embrace them, not reject them,” I answered.
“But how can I embrace something that’s eating into my income,” Jennifer asked.
“By finding ways for these online courses to become part of our practice and not in its place. The courses can make us much more professional, as they’ll allow us to offer our clients highly-specialized coaching solutions that were inaccessible in the past. If we do things right, the courses will help us actually increase business,” I responded.
Jennifer started to look interested. “I like what you’re getting at, Etika. Do you have any good ideas to get started?”
I answered, “I have a few brewing and would love to discuss them with you. It’s just that I have another appointment and need to run back to my office.”
Jennifer finally cracked her first smile since we had sat down. We decided to meet two days later, same time, same place. We paid for the coffee and walked out into the sunny afternoon.
In future posts, learn how taking advantage of online tools can help professionalize your coaching practice and help more people.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
Earlier this week, I was asked to participate in a senior management VC of one of the industry’s leading organizations. The main issue on the virtual table was how to communicate impending disappointing news (layoffs, salary reductions, etc.) to their employees.
As we all settled into the virtual conference room, one of the participants, who seemed a little agitated, spoke up:
“I might be preaching to the choir, but I really can’t stand those cliches that have been going around. You know, ‘every cloud has its silver lining,’ or ‘making lemonade out of lemons.’ Our employees deserve a heck of a lot more than that.”
I smiled and gave a big nod of approval. I took the floor.
“From my point of view, I don’t have an issue with what these kinds of sayings want to teach us. What I do have a problem with, though, is how they are used.”
“What do you mean, Etika,” another participant asked.
“Look, I am well-aware of the fact that delivering disappointing news to your employees is probably one of the most challenging and frustrating parts of being a leader. I’ve seen this played out many times, and it’s never pleasant, no matter how it’s packaged.”
I switched to gallery view on my VC software and saw all of the talking heads nod in agreement.
I continued, “But when you approach your employees with disappointing news, you have to put yourselves in their shoes first. This is definitely not the time to make things easy for yourselves. You’re the leaders here. You’re going to have to put yourselves out there so that they can feel how difficult it is for you to face them.”
I looked out at the Hollywood Squares and noticed a little confusion.
“I have a hunch that today many of you expected me to come with a written script to read to your employees, filled with wise advice, brimming with optimism towards the future - sayings such as, ‘when one door closes, another opens.’” But that’s not going to happen today.
I looked at my screen. Silence. Was my laptop frozen? No, they were in shock.
“Now, please don’t get me wrong,” I continued. “Those of you who’ve worked with me over the years know that I’m the first person to try to turn a crisis into an opportunity. However, as I said before, you have to put ourselves in your employees’ shoes. And frankly, they’re just not ready to hear about the “day after.” They are worried about tomorrow.”
“In fact,” I said, “any talk of optimism will probably backfire.”
I peered into my screen, trying my best to read the body language of the other participants. I could see they were looking for answers.
“So here’s what I think would be an effective way to approach things. First, each part of the population needs to hear a specific message for their particular situation. This will require dividing employees into groups, such as those who are facing a salary reduction and those about to be laid off. Then, these groups need to be separated again according to level, such as middle managers and line employees. You will need to hold separate meetings with each subgroup.”
I continued, “Begin each meeting by genuinely showing both how uncomfortable you are with the situation as well as the personal sacrifices you are making to keep the organization going. This will help your employees begin to connect with you, at least on a basic level. Not only will they see that you’re also affected, they’ll also understand you’re doing your best to restore things for them as quickly as possible.”
“The next stage is very important,” I emphasized. “Here, you have to demonstrate that the organization wants to help them during this time of crisis. It’ll take some planning, but for example, you could provide guidance in managing finances or mini-courses in improving professional skills. I’m sure you have the in-house talents for all kinds of offerings. Under today’s circumstances, all it takes is a laptop and goodwill.”
I conceded, “Of course, there’s no substitute for bringing back a full salary and stable job. But the feeling that the organization is trying, under these exceptional circumstances, to do what it can, will at least offer some encouragement to employees as they navigate this crisis.”
Many of the faces began to lighten up and I could sense wheels turning in the minds of most participants. They were formulating plans.
“I’ll leave you with this,” I said. “It’s crucial, especially since we can’t meet face-to-face, that our messages are both clear and sincere. This is the time, as a leader, to rise to this occasion.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
New beginnings always bring new opportunities - but it’s up to us to decide whether to make these opportunities our own - an important part of career goals for managers. Unfortunately, from my experience, very few of us take full advantage of new opportunities. This is usually attributed to what people mistakenly call a “realistic” view of such opportunities. They incorrectly overestimate the gap between where they are and where they could be. So they decide it’s not realistic to go for the opportunity - better to stay put.
Others who understand the importance of career goals for managers realize that opportunities cannot be wasted. Yes, it takes work, but it’s not impossible. I hope you’re part of this second category of managers. It’s 2022 and you have a world of opportunities awaiting you. Here’s how to get going:
First, it’s important to understand that seizing new opportunities means making some changes of your own. To do this, you’ll have to take an inventory of your current habits to see which ones might help or hinder your journey towards new opportunities. For example, when making decisions, do you often seek advice from everyone in your department? Perhaps such a habit has caused you to miss out on time sensitive deals.
Once you’ve taken your habit inventory, follow these steps:
1. Identify the habits you need to change.
2. Reduce these habits so that you can control them. This means being able to take them out and put them away as needed. If you get this right, you’ll find that you’ve made room for desirable habits to take root and grow.
3. Nourish and monitor your desirable habits. With persistence, they will become second nature and lead you towards success.
With this plan, you’ll seize the right opportunities in 2022 and before you know it, it’ll will be your year of success. During 2022, I’ll explore some of the topics I’ve touched on in more detail in the following posts:
1. “Think big but start small: the #1 key to success”
2. “Identify habits that are harming your career”
3. “Reduce harmful habits: why and how?”
4. “Find your untapped potential: why and how?”
Look out for this special 2022 series. And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
At this time of year, as we gather with our loved ones to celebrate the holidays, we find ourselves reflecting on our lives - family, friends, and career. Often, we ask ourselves where we are in achieving our dreams. Are we completely satisfied? Are we possibly a little disappointed? This is probably why one of the most popular greetings during this time of year is “may all your dreams come true.”
So what about your career dreams? Have you met your own expectations? To help you along, allow me to wish you 4 things this holiday season.
Holiday Wish #1: Unleash your dreams.
At this magical time of year, dare to dream what you’ve never dreamed before. Dreams allow us to think “out of the box” - to transcend the normal borders of our imagination - beyond how to measure success at work. Use your innate ability to dream about your dream career - especially if it seems to be “the impossible dream.” You see, such “impossibility” is actually the stuff dreams are made of...and facing impossibility in your dreams is the only way to overcome it in life. Here are four useful reminders that will hopefully get you dreaming:
Just as in fairy tales, in real life, dreams are meant to come true.
Every great thing we’ve ever known - ideas, inventions, cures - started with a dream.
If you don’t have a dream, you can’t make it come true.
Holiday Wish #2: Visualize your success.
This holiday season, do overtime. No, not at work - visualizing. Clearly visualizing the results of your dreams is a crucial bridge towards making the impossible a reality and part of how to measure success at work. This is because of the simple fact that anything you can visualize, you can accomplish.
So start by visualizing yourself in your corner office. What does it look like? Where is your desk? What’s the view outside your window? Then visualize yourself in different situations in your new job. What’s it like to run a staff meeting? Give an important presentation? Determine a budget? Don’t worry if your visualizations are a little dull or blurred at the beginning. The more you visualize, the sharper and more detailed the images will become. And make sure that your other senses (hearing, smelling, feeling, maybe even tasting) get in on the act as well. The more senses you involve, the more you’ll actually really know what it’s like to have your dream job. So close your eyes and get to work.
Holiday Wish #3: Put your visualization into words.
After you’ve visualized your dream job in as much detail as possible, seize the opportunity to express it in words. When we put our dream job into words, we make it concrete so that we can set the goals needed to turn it into reality. When putting your visualization into words, here are some general questions you should answer:
1. What is your dream job?
2. When do you want to begin it?
3. What are some of the major milestones you’ll need to accomplish along the way?
So start putting things into words - whether you write them down or record them, now is the time.
Holiday Wish #4: Plan it out.
If you’ve gotten this far (with or without the egg nog), consider how you’ll start realizing your dream as you begin the new year. Of course, this isn’t the time to make a very detailed plan, but while you’ve got things going, it would be a good idea to think about the following:
1. Break down your overall dream job goal into smaller, more manageable “mini-goals.”
2. Assign a rough due date for each of these mini-goals.
3. Keep your eyes on the ball. No backup plans.
4. And of course, believe in your dreams!
And finally, I’d like to wish you a very joyous holiday season, filled with love, happiness, and peace for all.
Best wishes
Etika
P.S. And don’t forget. Great managers are made. Not born.
According to the U.S. Department of Labor, over 11 million people quit their jobs last quarter - and about 50% of workers are actively looking to make a change. No wonder HR folks are so busy chasing their tails to keep up with employee turnover.
But what if there was an alternative? There is…and your organization already knows what to do.
Imagine if we replaced “high employee turnover” with “high customer turnover”. Your entire organization would high-tail it into red alert, mobilizing every possible resource to retain those customers. Why? Because everyone knows that acquiring new customers is much more expensive than retaining existing ones.
It’s the same with our valued employees. Replacing a mid-level manager costs organizations about $100,000! So now’s the time to tap into your organization’s customer retention know-how and bring today’s dizzying - and expensive - employer turnover to a halt.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
Jill is a human resources executive at a large hi-tech company who’s recently been exploring digital solutions to help empower her organization’s mid-level leaders. We’ve been meeting the last few months to discuss the latest trends in executive coaching.
After my last meeting with Jill, I received a notice about a digital learning fair taking place at the beginning of next month. Thinking that this would be a great opportunity to explore digital tools with Jill. I forwarded the invitation to her and wrote her a note inviting her for coffee at the conference center at the end of the day.
After a truly stimulating fair, with all kinds of innovative digital tools being presented and demonstrated by dozens of firms, I sat down in the break area and waited for Jill.
“Etika!” she shouted. “There you are. What an amazing day! I can’t believe all of the awesome innovations I’ve seen today. So many ideas. Such brilliance.”
I smiled. “I’m so happy you enjoyed the fair today, Jill.” I gave her a hug.
“I’m blown away, Etika. Now I’m starting to understand what you’ve been getting at all along,” said Jill. “Etika, you told me at our last meeting that you’ve also been developing something, right?”
I answered, “Well, it’s actually all developed...and in use. But it took me over five years until I felt I’d gotten it right.”
“Five years?” Jill was amazed.
“And add to that the 35 years of experience and knowledge it’s based on,” Etika added. “But now it’s being successfully used by managers all over the world.”
Jill said, “Enough suspense, Etika. Tell me about it!”
“With pleasure,” I answered. “But first, do you remember from our last meeting what I’d said are the two main advantages of digital learning tools?”
“I certainly do,” Jill quickly responded. “I’m still a good student. The first is that because of the anytime/anywhere delivery, digital tools allow us to help many more leaders, especially those who might be too busy for face-to-face coaching.”
“You really are a good student,” I said. “Go on.”
“And the second one,” she said, “Is that we can offer a wider range of solutions, therefore ensuring that our organization’s leaders receive customized service.”
“Bravo!” I congratulated. “Well, these two principles guided me in my development of the Executive Mirror Program.”
“The Executive Mirror Program?” Jill repeated. “Tell me more.”
“The Executive Mirror Program, or EMP for short.” I continued, “It’s an online course for mid-level leaders who are stuck in their career. They feel as if they are never going to get promoted and have begun losing hope.”
“From what I’ve seen at my company,” Jill said, “I’ve noticed that this is a huge challenge and it keeps growing.”
“No doubt.” I explained, “It seems that with hypercompetitiveness, more leaders are fighting for their careers than in the past. In fact, 70% of mid-level leaders these days define themselves as stuck to some degree.”
“That’s a huge number, Etika,” Jill responded. “So there’s your first principle, helping as many leaders as possible - wherever they are.”
“Bingo,” I answered. “With so many stuck leaders, all of the face-to-face hours in the world wouldn’t be able to help them all. That’s why the self-paced online EMP is a perfect solution for them.”
“It certainly is. And what about your second principle, Etika?” asked Jill.
“You mean customized learning, I assume. Well, thanks to sophisticated algorithms, the EMP is actually dynamically tailored for each and every client. No cookie-cutter programs,” I proudly stated.
“So organizations can actually provide a highly-customized solution to each of their leaders,” Jill added.
“Yes,” I said. “Something that would’ve been impossible without digital tools.”
“But what about the personal touch, Etika?” Jill asked. “Aren’t there managers out there who still want to talk to a live coach.”
“Of course, Jill,” I agreed. “And that’s why the EMP can be seamlessly combined with face-to-face coaching. In the digital learning world, we call this hybrid coaching.”
“I see,” Jill answered. “A hybrid between online and face-to-face.”
“Indeed,” I said. “And that’s why I’ve developed a certification course for coaches who’d like to integrate the EMP into a hybrid coaching program.”
“That’s really forward-thinking, Etika,” Jill said. “So the EMP can also be used as part of a live coaching program.”
“That’s right. Maximum flexibility in delivering a tailored experience,” I said. “This is a major advantage that digital learning tools can offer us.”
I added, “And don’t forget, Jill. Many leaders are already experiencing 24/7 learning online, whether it’s checking out a series of YouTubes on a subject or taking a full university course.”
“So you’re saying our organization’s leaders will come to expect digital learning tools?” Jill asked.
“No doubt,” I answered. “And if we want to remain at the forefront of our field, as you’ve done so far, Jill, we’ve got to meet their expectations.”
“Etika, I think that I now really understand where you’re coming from,” Jill said. “It’s amazing that you had the foresight to predict all of this five years ago. I feel like such a dinosaur.”
“Nonsense, Jill,” I answered. “Like the folks we help, we avoid change, so sometimes we don’t let ourselves see what’s really happening around us.”
“Well, you’ve certainly opened my eyes, Etika,” Jill admitted.
“I’m glad, Jill. That’s what being your mentor has always been about,” I responded.
“So when do I get to check out your EMP, Etika,” Jill asked.
“Why don’t you come by my office tomorrow at 9, Jill,” I offered. “I’ll show you a full demo. I’m sure you’ll find it both innovative and fascinating.”
“I’m sure of that, Etika. Looking forward,” Jill said.
With that, we got up, hugged as usual, and left the conference center, both of us contemplating our bright future with the help of digital learning tools.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
When I welcomed Mark, the CEO of a very successful hi-tech company into my office, I could see that he was less than enthusiastic to see me.
As he sat down, he told me that he had come to me because his good friend Tim, another top hi-tech CEO, had hounded him so much that he finally agreed. I smiled to Mark and told him that Tim had pleaded with me as well to squeeze him in, as Mark was what he described as an urgent case.
But after 35 years of practice, this scenario wasn’t new to me. Most successful CEOs are pretty sure they don’t have much to learn from leadership coaches like me - especially professional development goals for managers.
“Well, Mark, now that we’ve both kept our promises to Tim, we can end things now and part as friends,” I said. I had decided to put the ball in Mark’s court.
Mark was completely taken off guard and even looked embarrassed. We remained silent for a few moments and then he began to speak.
“It’s not just a saying that it’s lonely at the top,” he uttered.
“Everything is great when the company is running well. My employees are keen to share the credit for our successes, and of course, I’m more than happy to do so. But when things go wrong, it gets very cold and lonely,” he admitted.
Mark told me that he had confided in Tim about a week ago, when he’d returned from a board meeting, completely disillusioned. His company had turned out very good quarterly results, yet the board had hoped for larger growth.
Mark had explained that because of recent trade conflicts, it was taking longer than expected to produce certain components in Asia. As a result, there had been a delay in sales.
“But the board wouldn’t accept this explanation,” he upsettingly said.
“They were only interested in seeing a steeper growth graph.”
He continued: “And with all due respect, Etika, I’m really not sure what this has to do with you or how you can help...unless you can recommend some other factories.”
I told Mark that in terms of factories, he’d have to consult with someone else, but regarding his bigger question, every CEO needs and should engage in leadership coaching to promote professional development goals for managers like himself.
“Mark, let me ask you a question. In the last month or so, how many times have you made a tough decision based on your experience, even your gut feelings?” I asked.
Mark gave a wry smile and answered, “Countless times, of course. That’s what’s expected of me - to use both my experience and intuition. That’s why things generally run pretty smoothly.”
“No doubt in my mind, Mark,” I replied. “By the way, do you have any idea what percentage of our decisions comes from habit versus actual processing,” I asked.
Mark shook his head.
“Research shows that about 40% of our daily decisions are automatic, while we only really think through the other 60%,” I said.
“Honestly, I didn’t know that,” Mark replied with interest. “Is this good or bad? Should I be doing something else?” he asked.
“Great question,” I said. “The good part of acting automatically 40% of the time is that it allows us to decide things quickly, thus increasing efficiency and saving us time,” I answered.
“I see,” said Mark.
But then I continued: “The downside is that sometimes we react inappropriately to certain situations we think we’ve seen before.
As experienced managers, we’re expected to think quickly on our feet. This sometimes comes at the expense of taking the time to analyze the situation and think things through.”
“Right, I can relate to that,” Mark admitted. “I’ve shot from the hip a few times - regretting it later.”
“Exactly,” I said with a smile. “Of course, automatic reactions are great for efficiency, but sometimes they need to be restrained. Such restraint allows you to stop and consider if your instincts should be acted upon for a particular situation. This is similar to counting to ten before reacting when you’re angry.”
“I see what you mean,” Mark said.
“And once you do learn to stop and think, you’ll find that you’ll actually develop and add new and improved automatic reactions to your repertoire, rather than sort of recycling yourself” I added.
“Right,” Mark said interestingly.
“As I see things, this is the secret to real growth in managers...the ability to evolve even at the most senior levels,” I commented. “And this is also the place where many CEOs like yourself are lacking, which leads to the “lonely at the top” feeling you mentioned earlier,” I added.
“That makes some sense,” Mark said.
“But you have to want to grow, Mark, and that means regularly meeting with a leadership coach,” I asserted.
Inside, I wasn’t sure whether Mark was convinced. I told him that our time was up and that if he wanted guidance in growing even further, I would be happy to take him on.
Mark was a bit surprised by my abrupt ending, but again, I felt that putting the ball back in his court was the right thing to do.
Based on my experience, CEOs either exhaust themselves out and find another career or carry on trying to grow. It’ll be interesting to see what Mark decides to do.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
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